So my long time friend and companion Rory introduced me to BlogCatalog.com and I was shocked at the childish behaviour. Since I am an entertainer and she & Kristina Amberlee are as well we decided to come up with a miniseries from thebullshit. She posted it, an overly edited version and some people had nothin better to do than attack her so here (minus her introduction) is the unedited version.
Rory's into: Every day people face challenges and deal with those who remind us of one of the various Jr. High cliques. As an adult, we often hope that people our age grow out of such childish behavior. The inter net however provides a whole new playground for such activity. Most notably, on blogcatalog.com. Since the members of the discussion board tend to behave that way, myself and 3 other members have come up with the following breakdown of the Jr. High rankings so that no one else is caught off guard. Childish? Absolutely. Do we care? no, not really. This is not really a mean spirited thing, but more of an aknowledgment of both bad and good behavior and how it inspired us to begin writing drafts for a new web series. So meet you cast:
TonyB- one of the founders of BC, usually a pretty stand up guy. He is the pushover Principal of BC. He allows other members to bash America, Religions, etc but claims that it is a family friendly site. The amount of racism, sexism, religious intolerance and bullying that he fails to act on is comparable to the principle of a school that eventually gets into a very violent resolution after the "nerds" do something drastic. (poisonapplesauce)
Timetheif- nuerotic whore who gets train banged by underage herpes infested teens. claims everything is about her. Oh Christian's killed her aunt, her husbandbeats her, her husband is whipped, she has a high IQ, she has brain damage, she's a wiccan, she's a catholic. she's a model, she's an author. She's educated, she's homeschool by a drunken mother. These are all things she claims, see the hypocrisy? Yeah right bitch, yuo are a lonely middle age woman who spends all of her time online because in the real world everyone hates you. (latinaqueena420)
VoodooKobra- He is the sociopath. He is the geeky kid who plays video games (ironically besides living with mommy and daddy, and talking to his imaginary Internet friends, that is all he does). He is the kid who becomes bored due to his self proclaimed high IQ, and would be the one most likely to kill and torture small animals. (poisonapplesauce's version).
VoodooKobra- closet homosexual who touches little boys (latinaqueena's version)
Flamingpoodle- he is the awesome metal head kid. The one whose popularity blurs over the lines of cliques due his winning personality. (we all agree here)
TheFly- He is the intelligent jock. Winning smile, flirty friendly and inviting. He is the awesome kid who welcomes the newcomers and hasa good reputation with everyone. (we all agree here)
Anok- she is the odd girl who is still pretty popular. More people like her than don't, but no one really knows why. (poisonapplesauce's version)
Anok- Allegedly a mother, but spends all of her time on line preaching anarachy, yet not understanding the concept. A hypocrite who says its okay to threaten children but not middle aged women. All in all retarded. Too cowardly to even show her own face. (my version)
MarkPogue- He is the anti-everything guy. He is the one that would be voted "Most likely to be a victim of a hate crime". (poisonapplesauce's version)
MarkPogue- Some homo that needs to get laid so he can find something other than complaining to do. Probably sucking Voodoo's cock at night (latinaqueena420's version)
MarkPogue- A racist, sexist, elitest who gets of on making fun of religion in an effort to fill his empty exhistance.
Kat822- She is the cool girl who defies cliques and has little use for them. Refreshingly real. (all agree)
MidwestMom- is the closet racist. She is the one who calls out everyone else and takes offense to everything, mostly due to her own guilty conscience. (latinaqueena420)
MidwestMom- most of the time ok, but can come off as overly aggressive and closeminded. She would be the girl in school who would be great on debate team because there IS no opinion other than hers (poisonapplesauce)
Poisonapplesauce- she (me) was the peacekeeper rich kid who would only really step in it there was something really inappropriate and offensive going on. usually made fun of for her religion and for pointing out the obvious. In middle school she would be the one who would be hiring bigger bullies to beat up those who bullied her. (poisonapplesauce)
Poisonapplesauce- Outspoken in real life, she takes way too much crap trying to get along with people online. She is argumentative by nature, but backs off on BC only to be walked all over and harrassed from BC to StumbleUpon to myspace by Timethief and her crew. In real life, Poisonapplesauce would destroy TT, but ever the optimist she has given TT chance after chance to redeem herself (My & latina's version)
Latinaqueena420- She (one of my co-authors here) was the one who didn;t participate because of all of the hate going on. She was the good girl that had too much respect for everyone to get involved with discussions, but watched like a hawk, printed out transcripts, etc (poisonapplesauce)
JSinKeywest- The eccentric kid who when he made a friend he kept it close to his heart. He was loyal above all else and selfless, that is until the big old bullies stepped in and he saw the light faster that the three of us. (agreed)
MikeyMurderMMK- He was the quiet kid who sat back and watched but would console those students that almighty CUNT timethief and her group of train running boyfriends would bully. (latinaqueena)
Juenelle- She was the fashonista student with brains. Pretty and clever, all of the girls were envious, but lucky to have her friendship. (agreed)
Juenelle- Hot as fuck (my version)
SweetViolet- A raging bitch whou would get stomped in real life. Close minded old hag. (latina)
TheGoodKnife- Trouble maker, blowing up peoples stuff to fit in with the popular crowd only to act like a coward and try to make it like that never happend
There are more, but those would be the ones a tween drama series would be based on if this was middle school.
4 comments:
ok this is fucking hillarious , but so true,,,,, glad you all thought I was a cool chick, thanks this made my weekend!
Hey Mikey cool blog
but one thing try to change that backround color I had to highlight the words just to read them :)
The only thing I have to say about Blogcatalog is it's a shame because it could of been a great place.
Thanks I threw ya a Stumble
see you around
That's so accurate, it's scary.
This blog post made me laugh out loud it's so true.
I wish I came across it earlier when I was playing around on BC but I'm busy living in the real world and making money for a change. Tony is "out to lunch" with that troll they keep around that site. It's like watching a worm ruin a perfectly good apple. Hopefully she'll have a brain spasm and fall off her porch down on some rocks. I hope they all drop dead soon and rid us of their stupidity. The End :)
Post a Comment